Unthinkable –Gregor Jordan
Let’s start off right to the point: This is a really surprising hit, as i never thought this would be that good, especially a straight-to-DVD released, but with some great acting across the board, the film is a great watch. It’s a good dramatic thriller with suspense that seems to last the whole film and you really don’t know where the film will end up and it’s the first time I’ve felt that in the long time.
The film follows three people and how their lives clash in one instance when an American ex-soldier who turns into a different person after seeing death and destruction in the war zone and uses his knowledge and expertise to place three bombs around the US in major cities with the possibility of killing millions of people. Two people are brought in, Detective Brody, played by Carrie-Anne Moss who just locate the bombs and make sure they don’t go off and against the cool, calm collective nature of Brody, “H”, played by Sam Jackson plays a torture expert with many years in the field and is brought in to extract the information needed to find the bombs.
Having not seen Carrie-Anne Moss in a film for many years (well any decent ones), a great performance shines through here, even though you’ve a solid Samuel L Jackson playing a crazy guy and he pulls it off because he is pretty mental and Michael Sheen is intense in the film, one of the best performances from him that will shock you considering he was in The Queen and the Damned United. All three come to the film with experience and take a mediocre script and elevate to a level that really deserves to be released in the cinema. The ending is a massive surprise, which you won’t see coming at all and films that give away the ending or are over obvious actually bore me now, i want to be surprised, i want to sit down and not know what happens next, that brings me into the film experience. The film experience should be where you just switch off and you just watch and your brain just thinks about the film, the characters, the settings and the story. I don’t care about anything else just the film and the film puts me into the experience of torture and what might really occur behind closed doors and shows a normal person being pushed into an uncomfortable level with society. The mix of detective work from Moss and the crazy, mental
7/10
Simon Childs
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time – Mike Newell
Video game adaptation’s in the medium of film always seem to lack the edge and story from the original source, with films such as Resident Evil, Doom, Bloodrayne, Max Payne, Far Cry, Hitman, DOA: Dead or Alive, Alone in the Dark and Lara Croft all failing miserably to use the great games to their strengths. Only a handful of films have actually worked with Silent Hill being one of the strongest so far, using the eerie and terrifying plot and setting and twisting it further to create a chilling film. And now with the latest offering, with help from Jerry Bruckheimer in the production and Disney offering the money, Mike Newell had the chance to take a well loved game franchise and put into the film context creating a series of films that might have some longevity. The reaction from the film may not suggest the film has another couple films waiting to be made, but it does show the growth of gap between the shit adaptations of the past and the over-the-top action adventure films like Pirates of the Caribbean that might make it a success. You’ll see the massive similarities of this film to Pirates with the production value, the camera work and the editing but that’s because it’s done by the same team with Bruckheimer and Disney. I’m not saying anything is wrong with it, but it feels familiar and you know what’s going to happen and what the story will be about in first ten minutes. And having Ben Kingsley as an actor in the film instantly makes him a villain, and even though it’s meant to be a twist so you don’t realise he’s the villain, it’s obvious because of his background and his typecast.
A story about a young orphan who becomes a Prince after being adopted by the king and along with his two brothers Tus and Garsiv, form an alliance, and off they go to war to capture rival lands and restore peace to many areas. The Persian army is unstoppable with the three brothers leading the attacks and at a celebration, Dastan, the adopted Prince is seen to have killed his father by way of a magical coat which burns him. A conspiracy then unfolds as Dastan is set up to take the fall whilst a city is invaded under false pretence. Now on the run, Dastan must save his name, find out who really killed his father and make a dagger, which he found, is returned to the rightful place by Nizam, played by Gemma Arterton, who plays the love interest/annoyance of Dastan. Throw in a comedic back up performance by Alfred Molina, and the plot is simple to follow with constant moving and action sequences, some which are imaginative and new but done in a classical sense. The action is something new to lead Jake Gyllenhaal and i think he pulls it off, it’s just a shame about the accent.
Good action, fast paced, funny dialogue and a shirtless Gyllenhaal, it will ensnare the ladies and keep the men relatively happy, even if they love the game and find that the film doesn’t follow the same rules.
6/10
Simon Childs
The Runaways – Floria Sigismondi
A film about a band/musician. A common theme this year with a couple of British releases looking at famous artists, and Hollywood throws their effort into the ring, and it’s about the all woman band The Runaways. A band i don’t know much about, just that the lead singer was Joan Jett and she went onto to write a couple of songs i know about, and that’s it. Going into it not knowing about the band, i wanted to relive their era, their presence and what they are all about. And i think for the first time this year, it delivers. With a different art style which seemingly combines the era and the fascination of the band together to form a bubble gum pop/rock and roll biographical film about an all woman band playing in a male world. It has some decent performances with the lead two actresses which you wouldn’t suspect, but the film stealer goes to the great actor Michael Shannon as the band manager who teaches them that sex sells. In the 70’s, the band exploded onto the scene, showing woman and how damn sexy they can be whilst not giving a total fuck about anyone else but the music. It was dangerous but at the same time, people fucking loved it, men and woman both. The band drummed up the first female success that led to many female musicians learning from this band and using that same style and pushing it to the next level. The Runaways have defiantly influenced a lot of people but at the same time, the band also showed some of the wrong choices to do with rock and roll band.
Following the plot of the film, the fall and rise of the band, it starts with a young female singer and guitar player Joan Jett meeting a famous producer outside a club and he introduces her to a drummer named Sandy West and this is how the band is made. They bring in a bassist and a guitarist and the band seems to be complete. Until Kim tells them they need a vocalist that will bring in the crowds. The songs are written by Joan and the band whilst the new singer will just be the face (and body) of the band, to symbolise the woman’s strength and their sexuality. They find the young and innocent Cherie, played eerily by the seemingly older Dakota Fanning. Seeing the young actors from years ago now older to play adult characters is very strange, it will take a little while to adjust seeing Fanning this way. So the band is made, the songs are complete and they cause a stir with their energetic live performances and catchy songs. The bad soon make wrong choices, mainly with Cherie, who leads the band into the wrong direction. They soon split but in a good way.
The film is enjoyable in parts and isn’t as annoying as I’d thought it is, so it’s worth checking it out, defiantly captures the style of the era, and makes it a fun watch.
6/10
Simon Childs
After. Life – Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo
A straight to DVD release, the latest horror/suspense/mystery film named After. Life, spelt in a horrible way, is about Anna (Christina Ricci) dying and being in the care of Eliot Deacan (Liam Neeson) who tells her that she is died and that he can talk to dead people and must help them on their passage onto the afterlife. Some investigative skills and freaky dreams, Ricci’s boyfriend, Paul, played by Justin Long tries to come to terms with it all but soon finds out that something is wrong with the death of Ricci.
Here is my WTF Moment of the whole film: Justin Long’s dream when he sees her pull out her heart and a bit of blood dribbles out of her. Sick! Justin Long has recently been staring in horror films, but he’s better as a comedic actor, i personally feel, maybe you’ll feel different after his performance in this, but i doubt it. But i do love the fact that he punches children in this film, something you rarely see, but totally fucking awesome! Seeing Christina Ricci topless and in a sex scene, selling her soul or making it alright to look at a naked lady in a film? And yes more bare booby. It’s great you know sometimes to see boob but when there is too much, it gets a bit over baring. I’m sure younger people will love it so they can pause it and you know, do stuff to it, but getting to the age and with more professionalism, it just brings a movie down a bit. Sure it can used sometimes in the right way and enhances a scene, the over use of it, the fall back of seeing a bare nipple becomes boring after the fifth or sixth time in a film. Liam Neeson turn as a horrible villain that works because he can turn sinister at any moment. The Neeson slow walk will now become a common trait in horror films where the hunter stalks their prey in his kind of walk. Quite terrifying in the way he does it without moving any other limb in his body apart from his feet and legs.
At certain points the film feels like a college made horror film with slow mo pieces of stuff smashing or the shot composition. But it does a lot of suspense, especially when she holds the knife in a “gangsta” way. Why in horror films can’t people use doors properly? I know it sounds weird, but really, it’s quite easy to kick a door down or use the knob to turn the door or use a key you’ve found. It seems it’s a common thing nowadays where under pressure door handling is shit. And why do most horror films contain a strange looking boy? One that looks like he is going to rape something when he is older. It’s pretty fucking weird, not everyone knows a weird looking kid, especially ones that follow you and have a strange crush on you that in the end saves the day. What am i saying; i need a kid like that, so he can save me from the clutches of a villain. Any suggestions write them on a postcard and send them in.
5/10
Simon Childs
The Last Song – Julie Anne Robinson
This week’s DVD releases include a film that i wasn’t particular happy in viewing because of the lead actress and the whole hysteria around her. I know it stars other good actors like Greg Kinnear and Liam Hemsworth, brother of Thor, but even if these good actors and a seemingly “adult” story have been thrown in to make her act better, i will never see a good performance from Miley Cyrus. She’s over hyped and liked by so many people that it actually frustrates me that people would find her entertaining or good in any fashion, be that music, television or in movies. Across the board she is shit, with people writing her music for her, people styling her career to fit the mould and the films that have been made with her in them, well let’s say they lack a certain thing: talent. Sure most young actors from the Disney and Nickelodeon generation haven’t done great jobs, well perhaps maybe Zac Efron seems to be pulling away from that image, but for a majority, they pamper their audience knowing that the money will flow in if their name is included. This may seem harsh to say, but if i ever have a kid and they love Miley Cyrus, and want to listen to her music, watch her acting skills, I’ll probably go insane and abandon that child. Yes, that’s how much she angers me. (I apologise to anyone that finds that last statement too much, it was an imagery child, its okay, nothing bad will happen to them as they are imagery. Well except for imagery diseases they can contact, but its okay, we’ve had the imagery vaccination injection.)
The film follows Miley Cyrus and her younger brother going to visit her dad, Greg Kinnear in a beach like town where only a few thousand people live. Along the way she meets Liam Hemsworth and they form a new relationship, a summer love, but because her being alternative and that people in the world are “against” her, the relationship doesn’t end up as smooth as she’d like. Throw in a storyline about a sick dad, turtles on a beach and middle class families not liking mud and you have this shit fest of a film. I can’t believe i sat through watched this. I’m almost tempted to send a letter to the makers just so i could ask for my time back. The reason I’ve reviewing it is because it helps vent the anger and it stops you lovely people from ever watching it. And if anyone ever says this film is good, punch them in the face. Thanks.
1/10
Simon Childs
Defendor – Peter Stebbings
If you’re an avid reader, which i doubt you are, you may know that i have a massive love for Woody Harrelson, especially detailed in the Zombieland review where i basically gave 400 words to the one and only man who stole that film. So now reviewing a new film by the actor, i again have to point out how truly amazing this guy really is. He can take a small indie flick and turn into something that would crown the top of someone’s career; this film is just a small part of the whole overall picture. Defendor is a cross between a dark comedy with real drama set pieces where the audience is undecided whether or not to laugh or to cry and that’s what i really like about this film, it has a different pace to anything I’ve seen this year, sure it has it’s boring moments and sure the script may not be great, but when you’ve got Harrelson steering the film into a good direction and also have the incredibly cute and talented Kat Dennings as the female lead, you know you’ve got a good watch on your hands.
The story is about a somewhat delusional man with bad upbringings where he turns to crime fighting to better his life after his mother leaving him at an early age and his father dying. He wants to kill “Captain Industry”, his arch nemesis who continues to pollute his city with crime such as prostitution, violence and drug smuggling. Along the way he gets help from Kat, a local prostitute, and a family who helps him after he gets several beaten up by a police officer who is corrupt. Whilst this story is played, it cuts to a therapy session between Defendor and a physicist who wants to find out if he is able to live back into society or if this whole thing was brought upon by his mental instability. It has some moments of humour, especially with Defendor and moments of sadness, where you begin to wonder if the character really is losing their mind or not, but in the end, things do get resolved and you begin to understand the character and his motives, even if they are somewhat confused.
Overall, a decent film for a boring weekend, which can be watched with family or friends, i wouldn’t say it’s the greatest film to come out this year or even this month, but it certainly deserves a quick viewing to fully grasp Harrelson’s range as an actor and to see Kat Dennings in another film again before she graces our screen with a quality performance (let’s hope!) in the upcoming Thor film.
6/10
Simon Childs
Exit Through The Gift Shop – Banksy
This film has been on my one to watch list for pretty much most of the year since seeing the trailer in February/March time and i was instantly dumbfounded that a documentary like this hasn’t been made. It’s about a subject which has only been celebrated in the last ten years or so moving on from graffiti which offended people into it becoming an art form where people would pay for pieces of it for their own collection. The art form has come on leaps and bounds from when it first started appearing over the major cities in the world, especially in the US and London, where “criminals” would ruin walls or advertisements with writing or names which looked horrible and had no meaning behind it other than against the establishment. But now, because of the freedom of speech and the way these artists deal with current issues, many people believe in the guerrilla style tactics of artistic freedom which includes the images being placed around cities in any location they want. One of the main artists to emerge from this was the British born Banksy, an artist who led the graffiti art movement and someone who has made their name present in the press on many occasions with his wild antics like placing his own paintings in the National History Museum and stencilling political images around the streets of London. Now moving into a different medium, the legendary and unknown artist Banksy showcases a different form of art, creating a wonderful and genuinely interesting documentary about a guy who wanted to make his own documentary about the movement but couldn’t create a final piece. The story seems confused but it’s funny how real it feels in how a French guy wanted to film these graffiti artists at work and wanted to capture Banksy, but it was Banksy that ended up making a film about the French cameraman who feels in love with the art.
Using candid interviews with artists and friends of Thierry Guetta aka Mr Brainwash, along with an interview with the man himself, Guetta is portrayed as both a graffiti fanboy and a madman hell bent on what he wants to create. By the end of the film, you really see the transition from someone just merely interested in capturing the graffiti act into someone who wants to become the best in the world. Banksy also appears throughout to shed light on Guetta and his antics, using a weird voice and being blacked out, the mystery still remains. The voice over is narrated by Rhys Ifans and its informative and polite and works well with the images on screen. Some of the footage will blow you away and it’s truly amazing to see, an activity which is generally kept secret and not filmed being open to the eyes of the audience.
Being interested in this field, this film would seem to highlight the greats at work and would showcase a new side to what many people call “vandalism”. It’s a great pace, always interesting and offers new information about graffiti art. A great documentary that deserves a large following behind it.
9/10
Simon Childs
Four Lions – Chris Morris
The title doesn’t really give away the whole meaning or plot of the film but as soon as the film starts, you know that your gonna be in for an uncomfortable but hilarious ride where you’ll be laughing through gritted teeth. The film sees a group of British Muslim’s who become disjointed with the world and set to become prophets and plague terror upon Britain through a serious of events, either bombings, causing grief during public forums or terrorising local neighbourhoods, these stupid men set to do it in the simplest fashion and epically fail. This is a new type of comedy where it mixes both cultural relevance with slapstick humour that works really well. The script is really well written and combines a mixture of humour that is political and makes you either cringe or laugh hysterically and always challenges you which one it will be and sometimes it’s even a bit of both.
First time director here, with his first major film and he isn’t a stranger to controversy especially with his TV shows, including the infamous Brass Eye, where subjects that weren’t talked about on television before were brought up in mocking fashions bringing in experts or celebrities to show how they know nothing of the subject. The actors here all have a different quirks and that’s what makes it even more money with the different storylines they all have and how they seem stupid enough to do anything to become the men they worship.
The scene with the bomb strapped to the crow and for when one of them dies running across a sheep field are easily a couple of the best moments from the whole film and it’s difficult to not laugh out loud at how funny it is. And the scenes in Pakistan are startling with the rocket launcher because you begin to think if these places do really exist, but i guess that’s what this film is meant to do, bring some realism to the whole situation of suicide bombers and how “normal” these people are. Some people may be offended by this, but it’s good to see someone not shy away from that, it’s almost refreshing to see this type of humour nowadays. One of the favourite sequences involve the charity fun run costumes; i won’t spoil that scene for you, but the build up of it and the whole ending is quality and worth to see the film alone just for that.
8/10Simon Childs
Hot Tub Time Machine – Steve Pink
One of the biggest hyped films of this year and it was comedy if you would believe it, a film advertised to the “younger” audiences with crude jokes, well known comedy actors and a sense of summer fun. Unfortunately the press was one of the best things about this film where the title alone is funny, it seems as those the title was thought of first and built up from there and not very far by the looks of things. It’s something a bit different, sure, it has its moments but at the same time, it tries too hard to both laugh-out-loud funny and has a sentimental side. I don’t want to watch a comedy about four dudes and a hot tub and expect me to learn a lesson about friendship or about how family is important, not the place for it. I expect to be laughing all the time, loads of crude jokes, and loads of jokes about the time they are sent back to. You do get that in the first 5 minutes, and you will laugh a lot during that time but it slowly turns to a smile or sometimes not even a response as the film suddenly gets serious, which it should never do. The cast is of well known actors like John Cusack, harking back to his days as a funny guy in High Fidelity, Craig Robinson, someone fairly unknown to the average Joe, but if your fan of The Office, then you’ll love his performance in this, clearly the stand out one. Through in a crazy performance from (insert name) who also steals the show as the madman who just wants to party, and you can see this guy being type casted in the future, playing the crazy friend and the ensemble also includes the youngest actor (insert name) who after good strong performances in Kick-Ass and the lesser known Sex Drive, and you can see he can work a good shtick when needed to. It’s a shame he’s slightly underused. Throw in random appearances from the fucking strange Crispin Glover who brings a couple of the funniest sequences in the film and the beautiful (insert name) who i love, so i can’t say anything bad about her!
The film follows three friends who go back to a lodge they used to use when they were teens and they begin to reminiss about the good times and end up getting drunk and diving into a hot tub. This is where shit goes down and they are transported back in the time to the 70’s in their youth where it seems they must play out their teenage time their again, but this time with knowledge of the future. They figure out they must stick to what they did as not to ruin the future and unfortunately comedy mishaps occur and they begin to change the future. It has a great ending actually which will surprised you because normally they would follow the trend of being good but here it’s used really well.
It’s up and down in places; you’ll laugh out loud a couple of times but other than that it misses out on being a really great Apatow-esque film.
6/10
Simon Childs
When You’re Strange – Tom DiCillo
Being that i knew nothing of the band The Doors, i came into the film not knowing the true legacy of the band, not knowing that they have a strange cult following because of the type of music they produced and because of their famous lead singer, Jim Morrison. A name famous for his wild rock and roll antics and his stage performances, Jim was one of the first real front men, a guy who took the charisma and energy and made a performance out of it, and some people still believe him to be the best still to this day. Coming into this documentary just being released on DVD in the UK, i wanted to find out more. I’ve always heard people talk about The Doors, saying the band influenced them in their music and that Jim Morrison is a legend even if he died at a very early age. Once i found out that the film would be narrated by Johnny Depp, having the interest of a mega star, you realise that The Doors haven’t just inspired musicians but anyone who heard their music or the band themselves in how different and cutting edge they were in the 60s and 70s. The archive footage they have of Jim paints two different pictures where the drugged out wild man who sometimes performs with a sense of danger and flair juxtaposes the sweet and lost boy who just wants to perform. The scenes where he talks to his fans and helps them out are miles apart from the image that Jim has had painted for him in the research i read before watching the film.
Showing the beginning and the end of the band, the documentary examines different peaks and falls in the band’s history from performing in front of packed out arenas, to meeting their inspiration in music to being embroiled in drug problems and being used as a scapegoat for the “problems” of society at that point with the youth uprising. The double ended sword ends tragically for Jim Morrison and the death of this musician really has an effect on the world. The film is well put together, the music fits the scenes and the true emotion of the band really shines through. It doesn’t over hype the band; it doesn’t make them out to be money hungry musicians who just care about getting paid, but really shows the compassion and drive to succeed in creating music that people enjoy. Even if that means pushing themselves to the brink of no return.
Since watching the film, I’ve become a big fan of their music and I’ll defiantly be recommending the film and their music to other people, because it clearly deserves it.
8/10
Simon Childs
The Other Guys – Adam McKay
A sleeper summer comedy, The Other Guys is finally released in the UK this week after a mild success in the US where it seemed that the career of one of the best comedic actors, Will Ferrell might have been over with the choice of films he’s career has had since his break out performance in the legendary film Anchorman. Luckily, this film quietens the critics and shows how great Ferrell really is, and of course, with his partner in crime in both directing and writing, Adam McKay, the partnership continues to be strong. An actor who isn’t necessarily known for comedy, Mark Wahlberg here shines in a different role he’s used to, swapping the tough guy image for something a little sillier. The combination of the two has a great chemistry and they work really well off of each other. You can see this film gaining a good audience here and on DVD because it seems the kind of film to have multiple views to gain new quotes, which both McKay and Ferrell are well known for. Also having a great ensemble cast around them each bringing different jokes and laughs with Dwayne Johnson AKA The Rock along with Samuel L Jackson as the perfect cops start off the film in a perfect way where you wish that another film be made for these two guys. Eva Mendes also stars as Ferrell’s wife who brings the looks to the film and defiantly surprises in being funny and bouncing off the two leads. Throw in strange appearances from Steve Coogan as the villain (kinda?) and Michael Keaton, the one and only Batman, as a police captain who rules over Ferrell and Wahlberg.
The film follows the two “other guys” as they try to become “the guys” after the strange death of The Rock and Sam Jackson, with trying to investigate possible suspicious goings on with Steve Coogan’s character but they soon find themselves in a wild goose chase to find the truth. Along the way, the two police officers become better at the job, overcome fears and find themselves in sticky situations over and over again. These scenarios they find themselves in are very funny and the continued fuck ups they cause really bring out the laughs. The first ten minutes is magically funny but then throughout you’ll find themselves laughing in patches and then by the end sequence you’ll be rooting for the unlikely heroes and the film switches from comedy to action as it sees the characters become the men they want to be.
A thoroughly funny film which will be good on DVD, but if you’re not doing anything this weekend and have a couple of hours free, go check it out with friends.
7/10
Simon Childs
Diary of a Wimpy Kid – Thor Freudenthal
A kid’s film about a young, skinny, shy boy who moves into the next year of High School where it’s more important and has a higher social status and whom must overcome his over-confidence in becoming a popular guy to learn the lesson that close friends and family are more important. Heard of this before? Pretty much every children/teenager’s film for the last 30 years, but changed to suit the environment it’s released. That means a newer soundtrack, new cultural references, new human traits that have become unpopular in the younger audience such as braces or a certain colour of hair, and of course, because of the location of the plot, in an American High School, have certain occurrences that happen only in those schools. It’s a textbook coming of age story we’ve all seen before and unluckily it doesn’t break the mould, but only adds to the stock pile. And what’s even more discouraging is that the film is based from a well-liked book which includes cartoon’s that are very funny. These cartoons are used in the film, but not in the right way. From the adaptation of the book, the film stars Zachary Gordon and Robert Capron as the main two leads, Greg and Rowley, two best friends who embark on the journey to become popular. Throw in random cameos from Steve Zahn and Chloe Moretz, yes the girl from Kick-Ass, who as you can tell, feels strangely out of place in the film.
So the plot as mentioned before is Greg and Rowley, two young boys who join the higher rank of Middle School and so begin their journey into becoming popular through a series of hi-jinks like joining the wrestling team or joining the glee club. All of which ends in total humiliation for Greg but strange success for Rowley. Soon Rowley begins to become more popular than Greg and a huge falling out occurs. You probably know the ending where they join together to be best friends to defeat the common enemy. And it does happen. It’s a shame the film isn’t that funny, and only a couple of moments did i smile. It really is shocking that they can produce a teenage film where the market has grown and expanded since the 80’s where films like this were made. It just shows that some film production companies are still living in the past.
A massively poor attempt at a kid’s film that comes off lacking any structure or humour and the acting is wooden and sometimes annoying.
3/10
Simon Childs
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood: Vol 1 – Yasuhiro Irie
A new anime series to match the likes of Studio Ghibli likeability with the addictive nature of Death Note, called Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, directed by Yasuhiro Irie, which is rare for an anime show, where only one director is used. The series follows the adventure of The Elric Brothers, Edward and Alphonse, who are alchemist, people that can use the science of alchemy to transform and move objects. After a serious event where the Brothers try to bring someone back from the dead, the young brothers end up being half metal and being placed into an armour suit. Ed has an arm and leg made of metal after the limbs are taken from the accident and Al’s soul is placed inside the armour after his whole body was taken. It’s very far-fetching to begin with, but you soon grasp the whole story. They both join the State Alchemist’s where they help the army of the world, and they soon begin the journey of trying to find the Philosopher’s Stone which can bring people back from the dead because of its power. Yes, it’s kinda complicated. The animation is a mix of Studio Ghibli, mixed with cartoonish expressions seen in manga and the violence and action of Ghost in the Shell and Akira. It’s used to create an original fast paced, great action packed series where every episode leads into the overall direction the series has. It may seem to drag in certain parts, but the action comes quickly and the twists and turns appear nearly every episode.
Each character feels fleshed out, having little side stories about them and the main two Edward and Al, the audience can relate to them on a strange level and can understand the pain they are going through and how difficult it is, even though they lost their mother to science and that they are both made of metal, well either a metal armour or a metal arm and leg. The music is fantastic throughout and never seems to dip in quality. Every scene, the right music is used to emit the right energy, where a sad scene is accompanied with sad violins and soft music and fight sequences have added “umph” where you constantly in the scene, and following the fighting. The series gets progressively weirder as it goes on, with episodes past 13 becoming strange and involving different, more interesting and varied subject matters plus bringing in new characters. The twists and turns of the series soon begin and the mix of action, adventure along with the subject matter of death, science, religion and the afterlife, it’s a children TV show but with much stronger and deeper meanings which might fly over the child’s head but the colour and the vivid art style will reel them in.
The first volume contains 17 episodes, with the next volume containing a further 17 too and a third one being released next year, with the fourth also being released later next year. There are 64 episodes overall, and with them only just being released in Japan, it will take a little while before the whole series is released in the US/UK with English dub. Normally i wouldn’t watch an anime with English dub, only certain films I’ve watched have better dub, like Spirited Away and Akira, but i found that i enjoy this with dub than subtitles as the voice acting is excellent.
9/10
Simon Childs
The Expendables – Sly Stallone
I had low expectations coming into this film, i know many people had high hopes but i just didn’t feel the need to see it at the cinema as soon as it came out, but in the end, i gave in and finally sat down in my seat to be pleasantly surprised. The cast is pretty awesome with some of the best action heroes of all time being thrown in there, kinda wondering if Expendables 2 is made who will be in it, I’ve heard rumours of Steven Seagel, Jackie Chan, and Bruce Willis as the main villain and Carl Weathers. All of whom would make the next one a one to watch.
The plot of the film breaks down as followed: a group of mercenaries are called upon to kill a leader of a military unit on a small island on the Gulf but all is not well with the mission, where the leader seems to have back-up by a group of Americans who seem hell bent on causing destruction and getting in the way of Stallone’s gang of rough and tumble men. Throw in scenes of explosions, fights, angry shouting, funny quips and dodgy looks, and you’ve got a somewhat successful summer action film. Stallone’s directing is actually one of a high calibre, sure the action is fast, the fights are rough, but overall, he shoots it well. The camerawork was the main feature here because of the script not being great, Stallone had to rely on him capturing all of the awesome explosions and deaths to pull it off, plus to be able to capture all of the egos of the actors all on one screen is hard to do, just look at the Arnold, Bruce and Sly scene where all 3 can’t be shown on the screen at one time. It’s almost too weird to see Arnold and Sly in a scene together talking shit about the other. Willis steals it though as playing a bit of a dick, would be good if he does become a full blown villain in the next one.
WTF Moment: Quite a few to call upon, but i think the winner is, within the first ten minutes, some random dudes head and body just gets blown apart, and you fucking see it, it’s disgusting but at the same time, fucking awesome. Very Rambo-esque. Another moment that nearly steals it is Stallone slicing a dudes head off near the end! Also to add another level to the preceding, the OMFG moment goes to the whole sequence in the tunnel where Jet Li breaks a few bones (including someone’s neck), Terry Crews shotguns about thirty people but sadly a stone cold stunner is not seen!
8/10
Simon Childs
Centurion – Neil Marshall
The Lord of the Rings films have had a massive impact on the film industry in how films look and how certain historic events are told through the same way, but i never thought that films would then try to capitalise on the success as much as the latest British film, directed by Neil Marshall, Centurion. Described as a historical thriller, the story of a war in Scotland, leading the Ninth legion to wipe out the Picts has a strange mix of Lord of the Rings-esque scenery sequences mixed with casual violence and fighting seen in Robin Hood or Apocalypto and throw in themes seen in 300 or King Arthur. It all seems to be mixed to create a violent film about soldiers that we don’t seem to care too much about. Of course i don’t want to know their whole life and back story, but i still need to know something about them to actually care. That’s why LOTR works because we care about each individual character and their outcome in the war of the rings. Featuring a cast full of familiar British faces such as Michael Fassbender, who had a recent turn in Hollywood with a great performance in Inglorious Basterds, Dominic West, Noel Clarke, as a black athlete pushed into the war (is that racist?) and David Morrissey, plus featuring the attractive but somewhat psychotic Olga Kurylenko.
It’s a ensemble cast which features a mixed bag of shitty actors trying to be in a film that is lacking in script and emotion but makes up for it in mindless violence. The story, set in A.D. 117, sees a war between the Romans and the Picts, the Celtic’s who roam the Scottish Highlands and use guerrilla tactics to eliminate the Romans from different places, one by one. The main character is Quintus, played by Michael Fassbender, who is taken hostage after a Pict raid, but is soon saved by Roman legions that are brought in to demolish the terrifying and brutal Pict warriors. After a twist in betrayal from a Brigantian scout, a mute female named Etain and played by Olga Kurylenko, who marches the Roman legion into a trap killing nearly everyone in the legion, leaving only Quintus and six other men who have joined the fight late. Several brutal fighting scenes follow and one by one, the men are killed leaving only a handful at the end. It’s a revenge story for Etain who tracks these men to kill them for what the Roman soldiers did to her family.
With a lot of names and a lot of different characters, it’s hard to follow and grasp what’s going on and the scenes in-between the fight sequences aren’t paced right and the script is poor, overall, just a boring, over-violent, poor scripted film.
4/10
Simon Childs
Goemon – Kazuaki Kiriya
The young Japanese pioneer director Kazuaki Kiriya returns for his second film using the same technology and art of blue screen from his last film, Casshern, to create a crafted and mesmerising action adventure film loosely based on a real person, Goemon Ishikawa. The story tells of Goemon, a legendary ninja who turns bandit and steals from the rich to give to the poor, like the Japanese equivalent of Robin Hood, but centuries and centuries ago. Kiriya is famous for being one of the first directors to use digital lots where they shot the whole film using green screens where the environment is digitally added in and the end of the production. It’s been used in such films as Sin City, and can be used in an amazing way, like Sin City, recreating the feel for the graphic novels which they were adapted from. Here, the technique is used to create vivid and colourfully backdrops to the fast and furious action set pieces that have been advanced on since Casshern. Setting the film in the past instead of the future, mixing the historical context with out-of-this-world choreography, the fights are reminiscent of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon in the sense of the absurd nature it turns to, but in the end, it’s an exaggerated story to start off with.
As I’ve mentioned it’s loosely based on the historic story of a ninja bandit who steals from the rich and gives to the poor and within the first twenty minutes, the action that shows this is truly spectacular, with a great performance from the lead who plays Goemon, mixing good emotions with a level of likeability in a film where the script isn’t that great and that you can’t really connect well to the characters, it all seems out of reality. Missing a great script and some great acting, you step away from the fact that it’s meant to be serious and you can’t believe in the characters, you just take it for face value. I do recommend seeing this film if you loved Casshern, silly action films, great martial art sequences and love looking at beautiful settings for most of the film; you’ll probably love this film. Sure it takes a little while to get into with the amount of twists and turns and the amount of characters there are in the beginning, you’ll soon find the basic plot of betrayal and revenge leading to a great final thirty minutes of out of this world fighting.
7/10
Simon Childs
My Last Five Girlfriends – Julian Kemp
The title sums up this latest offering from the British film industry, a film that centres on one man’s past relationships and going through each one told in short story form in way of different chapters in the man’s life. Each relationship has its ups and downs and having the man examine every detail trying to create a bond between him and the audience and unfortunately, it fails miserably because the guy, who plays him or the character in general, is a massive dick. He’s smug, middle class and up his own arse it actually makes me angry that someone would think this is a great idea for a film, it’s almost marketed at the middle class where they talk about great restaurants and have fine wine and experience exotic holidays. It makes me anger that people would think this is entertaining, to be constantly reminded of our poor, shitty existence. Yes, as you can see the film has enticed me into being angry, into thinking that the film wants me to be angry, but alas, i must carry on with this review, giving you the plot and giving you my opinion of this, but bare this in mind: i hate this film and hate films like this.
So you know the plot already, a guy travels and back explores his past five relationships, all of them ending in heart break one way or another and from these relationships, small scenes of humour and emotion are used to show the differences of the woman he has dated. Sure he’s charming and he has his ways, but really, the way he acts in all the relationships is dickish, and we are meant to support him? To find him likeable? Fuck no, i hate this dude, i want to punch him in the throat. I’m not going to continue to review this film because it seems to discourage the fact that only middle class people watch movies or will understand this movie. I don’t see anyone under the age of 20 going to see this film and it’s clearly not marketed for me. So fuck it. Don’t go see it, it’s a pile of shit and isn’t worth your time. And the only reason I’m giving it a 2 because of Naomie Harris, who is utterly adorable in it and very good looking.
2/10
Simon Childs
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Video Game - PSN and XBLA
You may have heard of small movie called Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, we reviewed it last week and we gave it a low score, i say low score, we gave it a 10, because the film is fucking AWESOME! So as preparation for the film, i got to grips with the film-tie in video game for Playstation Network and Xbox Live Arcade, which was released a week before the film came out. The only reason I’m reviewing it now because it took a long time to get far into the game, it’s a classic side scrolling beat ‘em up in vain of Streets of Rage and classics like that, but with a twist. You play as Scott Pilgrim, Kim Pine, Stephen Stills or Ramona Flowers if you’re by yourself, but you can also play it with three other people, creating a fun multiplayer beat ‘em up, a type of game that i haven’t played since the 90’s. It has a different art style which fits considering that the game is based on the film and the loosely based on the graphic novels which had the same feel of 8bit graphics. It suits it very well and with the music creates a different game atmosphere from ones seen this year in ultra violent God of War 3, the stunningly realistic Final Fantasy 13 and the extended gameplay of Red Dead Redemption. And added bonus is that the game is cheap and available through the Playstation online store and the Xbox online store, which makes it extra sweet considering the amount of hours and fun you’ll have with it at such a cheap price. Created by Ubisoft, a great games making company that seems to have listened to the fans and to the maker of Scott Pilgrim, Bryan Lee O’Malley, has created something that bonds the books and the film together to create an original game.
The game is quite difficult for those who aren’t hardcore gamers who can throw a massive amount of time into a game. You can’t have one run through and expect to complete it. It’s about gaining more experience and levelling up so that when you return, you can defeat the enemies. It’s a great premise with great music and cool graphics with an entertaining story and defiantly worth playing with friends. I highly recommend buying it because it has a great longevity to it.
VISUALS: A different visual style that is very cool but obviously can’t be compared to other games that use realism 15%
SOUND: A real band has been used to create the whole soundtrack which is homage to the 8bit soundtracks of yesteryear 18%
GAMEPLAY: Does become slightly repetitive in parts but overall, fun 14%
LASTING APPEAL: You have to keep coming back to the game to level up to go to other levels and such, it does take a long time to do 15%
SPECIAL FEATURES: Only a few trophies and achievements to collect, not massive amounts 10%
72%
Simon Childs
The Infidel – Josh Appignanesi
A British comedy about a man being grown up in a Muslim family and adorned to the Muslim religion but finding out he was actually born into a Jewish family. It’s something not seen in this climate, especially about this subject matter and it’s been a very long time since we’ve seen a decent British comedy, well this year anyway, with only one exception being Cemetery Junction. Starring the funny Omid Djalili, the annoying guy from the price comparison adverts, but in real life and through his stand-up, a very funny comic; he plays Mahmud who finds out that his biological parents were Jewish and he begins to wonder about his religion and which he should follow. It’s refreshing to see a film about this subject without being overtly racist or demeaning to the audience, without holding back on what could or might happen, what the person might actually feel especially with a family of their own and having the personal situations that would take place revolving around it. It’s different and new and i like it. It’s a shame the film isn’t that great, it doesn’t have many laugh out loud moments, sure it’s good, but it’s not. Omid is funny in many of the scenes and you can see this film was a vehicle for him and not many other people could fill those shoes, it’s just a shame the script isn’t great, sometimes fumbled and that the other actors around him lack a certain spark and charisma Omid has in buckets.
Mahmud finds out he was born from Jewish parents and goes out to find out more about the religion after being brought up Muslim and hating the Jewish people because of a local neighbour who seems to terrorise him. But after meeting the neighbour and learning more about it, Mahmud travels to a bar mitzvah and get’s involved in protests against the Jewish people and with different situations finds himself both in the struggle between the two perspectives and finds it hard to decide between the two. It’s a decent plot, that does strike up some funny scenarios but as I’ve said before it lacks something, something that pushes it above the feel that it could easily be seen on Channel 4 as a film made for TV. It has that look and for that i can’t give it a great rating or give it the necessary “big up” that i make for other films on this review site.
4/10
Simon Childs
Unthinkable –Gregor Jordan
