i Am Motha Bleeping Machete

Machete - Robert Rodriquez

Robert Rodriquez’s latest comes from the cleverly pieced together “fake” trailers that were attached to the Rodriquez-Quentin Tarantino joint venture Grindhouse where both directors created a film that symbolised what they loved about 70s and 80s B movies. Full of cringey acting, blood splattering over-the-top violence and trademark B movie dialogue, it was fun to reminisce with the two great directors and it showed they can have some fun too. Of course, the films they have created before this did contain all three of those aspects but because it was plots involving chemical warfare, women with guns for a leg, and a madman using a car as his weapon you just tended to think it was a joke. I loved the Grindhouse pictures, they were silly and enjoyable and had a lack of what people would think, and it just seemed like two guys who loved that era try to recreate what they loved. And the skills used were perfect too having the picture faded in places and having the scratches too where the print would be scratched from handling but they’ve used it in the post-production instead. And Machete is from Grindhouse, well one of the “fake” trailers that was created; it gained such a fan approval that Rodriquez instantly wanted to make it.

It follows a Mexican played by the famous Danny Trejo, the man who has pretty much appeared as a Mexican in all action films ever (i’m sure that last fact is true!). This Mexican isn’t an ordinary Mexican, oh no, he’s a Mexican Federale, one of the best who’s turned renegade after being doubled crossed and witnessing the killing of his mother and daughter by the corrupt chief and drug lord Rogelio Torrez played by the awesome Steven Seagal. Now as an illegal immigrant he runs into some trouble involving some corrupt politicians and is asked to make one last kill, assassinating a senator which back fires and he is set up and now on the run from all kinds of trouble. He uses help from an immigrant officer with a soft spot for him played by Jessica Alba and an underground fighter played by Michelle Rodriquez. After several fight sequences, Machete becomes Machete when he is given; you guessed it, a fucking huge Machete. That’s when shit hits the fan, body parts flying all over the place, limbs and blood, people screaming, intestines being used as rope to swing on, it’s all going off!

It has some awesome action sequences, over-the-top violence and some great cameos which i won’t spoil, sure it has some naked and topless scenes but if you’re watching it with a group of friends they will love it, especially if you were a fan of the original Grindhouse pictures. Now we just have to wait until Don’t is made!

7/10

Simon Childs