3 July 2010

Teenage angst with Greek gods

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief – Chris Columbus

A teenage novel turned into a film. A common thing nowadays, it seems any children’s or teenage novel released, and a group of people enjoy it, the studios are now snapping up to make mega dosh from. I really hope these trends stop soon, it’s becoming boring and predictable, and we’ve already had the huge explosion of Harry Potter and Twilight. I want more adult themed kinda stuff, shit that doesn’t make sense you know. I can’t imagine films like Donnie Darko or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ever coming from novels, because they are too much to handle, which is why the gap between films like Harry Potter and Twilight will never be classic filmmaking, rather just cult classics for a new generation of film goers. But, sometimes, a film can come out of this whole thing that changes the game, creates the difference between a clear definition of cash-cow and genuinely for the audience, and Percy Jackson & The Olympians seems to want to be the later, creating a new exciting franchise that i would love to see more being made in the future.

The film tells the story of the family of Greek Gods, Zeus, Poseidon and Hades, the three brothers that rule the Heaven, the sea and the underworld. A rule had been made where the sons and daughters of these gods, made with humans would be abandoned and left on earth to fend for them and have powers from these gods. As well as these gods, demi-gods also have sons and daughters where they have connections to their powers. Introducing Percy Jackson, the son of Poseidon, one of the most powerful humans on Earth, but he is a teen at school, who soon learns that he is much more powerful than he first thought, where the people around him know of his secret and help him become who he is meant to be. After Zeus’s powerful weapon, the lightning bolt is stolen, many blame Percy, including Zeus who threatens to destroy the human race if the bolt isn’t returned in a set amount of time.

It’s a great plot, with different twists and turns and for a film advertised for teenagers and the younger audience, it holds up well, really well. Has a great cast with the likes of Steve Coogan, Sean Bean, Kevin McKidd, Pierce Brosnan, Catherine Keener, Rosario Dawson and Uma Thurman all performing well, doing the best they can. It has some great action scenes and a good pace. It’s a real surprise, i guarantee you’ll find the film exciting and a good Sunday night film.


Simon Childs

Highlander of the Rings

Solomon Kane – Michael J. Bassett

A release that wasn’t paraded with much attention when it came out in the cinemas, i didn’t read any articles about it, watch any trailers, see any behind the scenes action. This DVD release of Solomon Kane was only recommended to me by a friend who believed it to be better than it deserved to be called. I’m going to give it a chance and watch it, and if it is a surprise hit, then great, I’ll spread the word and make sure others watch it, but if it proves that the tags and labels it was given are well deserved then sadly this film will fall into the depths of hell. Well not literally, but it will fall into the £3 HMV sale that seems to sell films that have been watched by an average of 6 people. Half of them by accident.

So moving onto the plot, Solomon Kane follows Solomon Kane, a former warrior for the Queen’s guard in olden times England. He kills, he slaughters, and he practically is a one man army until he fights death himself. The reaper has come for Solomon but Solomon escapes and leads a peaceful life, ending the conflict and violence in his life. He goes into hiding. After being expelled from the monastery he lives in, he returns back home to his former kingdom which he left as a teenage boy after accidently killing his brother. On his way back, he finds a family, who help him after being beaten up. Several towns on their travels have been demolished; lay a waste with dead bodies and rubble. The family are then attacked, leading Solomon to become the man he used to be and kill the people who are involved. This is the basic plot, a few plot twists and several massive fights, which include three different enemies at the end. You’ll be surprised how he managed to kill them all and save the day.

Its okay, not great. It does have the setting look of Lord of The Rings, but the money isn’t there and the adventure seems to dip in excitement, from parts that are fast moving and at a great pace, then cut to slow, boring, religious sub-texts within scenes that seem to drag on a lot longer than they need to. The acting is okay, the lead James Purefoy plays it well, it’s a shame he has no one to bounce off of in terms of villain or friend of Solomon, like in Lord of the Rings, Aragorn has a band of people to work with instead of being by him throughout most of the film. I wouldn’t recommend it, very dull.


Simon Childs

"What are you, you milk bottle!?!"

44 Inch Chest - Malcolm Venville

The writers of Sexy Beast return with another look on life for older geezers, instead of the holiday getaway and crime, here we have, a more realistic turn of a man losing his wife and marriage and having an emotional breakdown. It has the witty dialogue, the common phrases, bundles of swear words and phrases that you’ll be repeating on a regular basis and has sequences that are from the mind of the lead character, Colin, played by the wonderfully broken Ray Winstone. His look of London gentleman on a holiday in Spain suits it well, and having a hard man like him, being in a history of films of being the “bruiser” you feel the emotion more, you feel the heartache and the breakdown. He may just sit down in a chair for most of it, but he does talk, it’s very intellectually and spiritually, giving real meaning to the film and creating a better bond between you and the character. It all takes place in a disused house in the middle of what seems like a rundown area of London. Only flashbacks change the scenery and at the beginning where the kidnapping takes place. The setting suits the action taking place, adding to Colin’s dismay.

The supporting cast here round up the film, not given an amazing amount of inspiring dialogue, but do it well enough to create different personas and have different effects on Colin. Tom Wilkinson and Stephen Dillane play Archie and Mal, two friends of Colin who seem to talk the most, helping him with his situation and calming him down. These two seem the most intelligent and down-to-earth. Then John Hurt plays Peanut, a fucking mad man who swears every line he has. He rips into Colin for turning into a mess, and he isn’t afraid to tell him. He seems the most outspoken, telling him to kill the man who cheated with his wife. And finally Meredith, played by Ian McShane, who brings the comic relief in how he is a gay gangster, which seems to irritate Peanut and upset him. The scenes with these two teasing each other are laugh out loud good, it’s a shame other parts are lacking.

The whole point of the film is about the true feelings of love and how a woman can damage another man very easily. It’s not seen in cinema that much, very rare, but here it’s affective. Colin’s wife cheated on him with another man, leading for her to leave him. So throughout the film, the man who did it is locked up in a wardrobe in the disused house, as they seem to talk and make a plan of what to do. It’s a small concept but works. It’s a shame that parts of the acting and dialogue let it down. It’s boring in parts, long winded, but it’s clever.


Simon Childs

1 July 2010

Where’s the Smoke Monster when you need it! (The Pacific Part 1)

Part 1: Directed by Tim Van Patten

Starts off with a short narration by the legendary Tom Hanks, i really wasn’t expecting this and it also gives archive footage of th
e war, which shows it’s based on real events with the main characters representing the real people in the war. Now going into more detail about the leads. Three different set-ups are seen, where Leckie’s father doesn’t talk to him and doesn’t have a great relationship with him. Then there is Basilone who is eating a family meal and they are encouraging him to war and the third is a young adult who cannot go because of a heart defect. It shows Leckie later on with the group of marines and clearly stands out being the intellectual of the group. The 1st lot of marines land onto the island and it’s quiet. Too quiet. Straight away, the detail of the show is incredible, the costumes, the setting, the make-up, everything looks spot on. I love this so far. On the island, the war sequences, well i say war, i mean the fighting, between the Japanese army and the Marines is amazing. Really is. This has gone so quickly and it’s an hour. So far, very pleased with the episode. The connections between the marines are very strong and you can tell that they are in this together. And especially after their stock boat is destroyed. The climax with the gun fight on the creek is a great build and shows that the American Marines means business especially Leckie’s group of men. I’m looking forward to what happens next with the 7th Marines and Basilone who is only briefly shown.

Simon Childs

TV Thursday's - The Pacific

Let’s begin with a short introduction to the new TV Thursday’s, and give the short story of where it came from. I’m not gonna lie, i have got nothing planned for the summer. I’ve got three months of doing fuck all, and i thought, as to cover my time productively, instead of getting into shape, volunteering, seeing family members I’ve haven’t seen in years, sorting out lose paperwork, or consolidating my debts, I’m gonna review some TV shows for shits and giggles. And one of the biggest releases, which finished last month, was The Pacific. Luckily, i watched each one, and write down short reviews of each part, and for the next 10 Thursdays, you’ll have the pleasure of getting the review of each one, which will lead to, at the end, having a massive review for the whole series, which I’ll tie up sometime in September. And hopefully after that, reviewing a similar type format show, possibly a whole series of something new. I’ll decide nearer the time. So, let’s begin with part 1 of the massively constructed, war-drama epic The Pacific! Now with added photos!

Simon Childs

Letters From The TV Front 2

The Ruby in the smoke - Rubicon preview

Seven years ago, James Badge Dale was running around LA with a grade 1 hair cut, getting his hand chopped off in order to save the day. His big TV moment as Chase in 24, however, soon dimmed into obscurity, never to be seen or heard from again. Until last year when he appeared once again; new haircut and a new found intellect, carrying a machine gun through tropical jungle in the epic TV mini-series The Pacific. In the first episode of The Pacific, his character observes that he'd much rather be carrying his typewriter into war than a gun, and voila! In the summer of 2010, he is reborn as Will Travers in the new mystery show Rubicon.

Far from being a delicious mango based drink or a famous roman river, Rubicon is the latest in a series of possible successors to the now disenfranchised Lost viewers (along with already planted Fringe and the new NBC series Persons Unknown) that promises clues, questions and hopefully answers. I am not a massive fan of the mystery series, and one Mr Childs or Mr Woburn will attest to my disregard for Lost's seemingly endless trek into the wilderness of despair (which then ended. Damn) but I decided to look at Rubicon with a fresh eye. The network AMC (who are also responsible for Breaking Bad) are not releasing Rubicon until August 1st, but played the first episode as a teaser last month, so I decided to check it out.

The series revolves around one man, Will Travers, an introspective brain in a government think tank (the purpose of this think tank appears to be analysing intelligence to find patterns in terrorism, economics etc). One day, Travers discovers what he believes to be a pattern in the crosswords of America's biggest newspapers, leading him to investigate the possibility of a global secret society. It sounds like the premise of a Dan Brown novel, sure, but the real quality of this show comes from the intellectual acting of Dale along with the sheer interest of what he is investigating. When shown the office of the think tank you genuinely believe there are placed in America attempting to connect cities by whether or not they have university hospitals, public fountains or a low defence budget. The direction itself is subtle, but not without its punches. A haunting accident scene half way through the episode had me pause the video while I composed myself - here is a mystery show that doesn't rely on flashbacks, arguments or polar bears to intrigue its viewers. Instead a mystery that could exist in our own back yard - a conspiracy drama that is comprehensible and, almost, believable.

I don't want to say much more than I already have about the show itself. But as someone who may feel like they missed out on the Lost craze, Rubicon offers another chance at being fully amerced in the tough questions, in the puppet strings being gently pulled behind the scenes and a character with emotional depth that can pull you into this new show just enough, so softly that you'll think it was your choice to get involved in the first place.

Rubicon airs August 1st 2010.


30 June 2010


Ninja Assassin - James McTeigue


That’s the best way to start with the review of Ninja Assassin, but after writing that, i realised, there is something wrong with the film. With all the action, all the guts, all the blood, all the violence, what else is there? Not much really. A shit plot about an ancient group of ninjas, formed in Asia by a crazy guy. They go out and kill people for 100 pieces of gold. And then one rebels and they go after him. At the same time, police, or some kind of European or World police try to figure out who they are. It’s kinda shiteous. It really is. But, luckily for it, Rain, the lead Ninja as you would say, the technical term, makes up for it with all the god-damn amazing action, the flips, the kicks, the punches, the slices, the cuts, the blood. This dude is awesome. Seriously awesome. He can’t act for shit though. So, as a tribute to the film, I’m gonna do a short review. Because, I’m just gonna review the action and shit. Fuck the rest of the film. If Ninja Assassin can’t be bothered with acting, its script or anything other than the action, then why should i care about writing little details about shit that doesn’t matter? I’m gonna be more like Rain. Yeah, sounds like an amazing idea.

(At this point, i punched the counter next to me, thus leading for screams and crying from me. So being like Rain really didn’t help. It just made my hand hurt and plus made me look like a girl. Which i know i am now. I’ve accepted it. I’ve kinda embraced it!)


Simon Childs

28 June 2010

Woof! Woof! Meow!

The Wolfman - Joe Johnston

Remakes are getting a lot of stigma nowadays. Any type of that film that’s either a sequel or something that redoes what has been is instantly regarded as shit. It’s strange, for a little while i agreed with this but i started seeing the ones that deserved to be remade, telling the story in a different way, normally in a newer setting or using new plot devices. Take for instance, The Wolfman. A remake using the historic and well known character the man who turns into a wolf and it’s not necessarily going to include a topless scene where he tries to win a girl over in a sloppy love triangle, he is instead going to kill people by ripping their heads off and slashing their guts out of their body. Fucking A! The gore is of a high level here, but it suits it. I don’t like how violence in some cases is dumped down or not shown so it gets a better rating. Sometimes, it needs it. Not like Saw though or Hostel, that’s just mindless fucking violence.

So, you should know the story of Wolfman, a man gets bitten by a wolf slash man; yes i said slash man and not use the symbol! He then turns into one and goes on a spree. Throw in a love story, where the women most overcome the fear or the Wolfman must overcome the urge to kill her. Plus some family problems and involve a person trying to kill the Wolfman and that pretty much sets up most Wolfman stories. Here though, it does use these stereotypes, but changes them for the better. The Wolfman played by Benicio del Toro, who is fucking amazing here, as an actor, who some believe to have mental problems with alternative personalities, is bitten by a Wolfman. When he comes back to his home which is inhibited by his father, played by the eerie Antony Hopkins and the widow of Del Toro’s brother in the film, Emily Blunt, who i have a mild crush on, he begins his path of destruction, turning into the wolf at full moon and killing dozens of people. The inspector, played by Huge Weaving, with one of the best beards I’ve seen in years, goes about trying to capture him. Its very cat and mouse, with a few surprises here and there.

The setting, the set design and the overall mood of the piece strikes the right cord and defiantly brings about the classic horror films made in the 40’s and 50’s using costumes and make-up instead of CGI to show the beast. It brings about those memories and it makes it a better film for it. So it’s a good view. It’s long, but you soon forget the time once the first 45 minutes are out of the way.


Simon Childs

Robert Downey, Jr. the new Jeff Bridges?

Sherlock Holmes - Guy Ritchie

Not being a massive Guy Ritchie fan, i came into this film expecting something righteously shit. I don’t know why i had such low hopes for it, mainly just being directed by the massively overrated Ritchie and staring the irritating as fuck Jude Law. I should of thought better as it did have Downey, Jr. A man on a mission to create the perfect career, going from strength to strength. As the title suggest, he may be the next Jeff Bridges, which to me is a massive compliment. It’s either going to be him or Jesse Eisenberg, who i absolutely love too, and i look forward to his next film, The Social Network (the trailer dropped this week!). But anyway, back to Sherlock Holmes, a film, i thought was going to be shit, and surprisingly, i was wrong. I was completely wrong about it; it’s actually a fucking good film. I wasn’t bored not one single second, right length, good mix of action and comedy, the performances were jarring, the pace was good, the villain was good. The way the film looked, how London was made to look, i was impressed by all of it. And I’m sure you will too.

It sets Robert as the famous detective Sherlock Holmes with his trusty sidekick Watson played by Jude Law, as they set about solving crimes, but they seem to be growing apart as friends but can’t resist the action and the mystery with solving other people’s problems. This week’s problem is with Rachel McAdams character that sets about a massive scheme, her being a rival trickster, leading to investigating Lord Blackwood, played by the fucking brilliant Mark Strong who seems to be in every film nowadays. Massive set pieces in different locations give it a refreshing feel and the dialogue never lets up. They all do well here. I’m looking forward for what they do in the next film, as the massive plays that were strung together in the shadowy background were by someone called Moriaty, who is one of the leading villains in the books and past adaptations, so by not revealing who he is or what he looks like, a big actor can be brought in, rumours being Brad Pitt or Daniel Day Lewis, which would be awesome. Really would.

Now I’m gonna quickly go back to something which i may have not really talked about that much. Rachel McAdams. Yes, that sweet, intellectual girl from The Notebook who let’s be honest acted like a bit of a dick towards Ryan Gosling. I’m sure we all agree on that. But here, she finally embraces the fact she is a woman and that loads of men casually touch themselves whilst watching her. Maybe not in public, like in the cinema, as that’s one, illegal and two, quite rude. But you get the jest. Her being the semi-love interest with a surprising twist in the end was refreshing. I hate how the lead girl always gets the girl when sometimes they don’t deserve it. The only person who deserved the girl they wanted was Sam-Wise from Lord of the Rings, the dude fucking walked for like a year and back just for a fucking ring. That’s commitment!


Simon Childs

27 June 2010

Whip it, Whip it Good!

Whip It - Drew Barrymore

Let’s begin with a small story revolving around the film and watching it. There is a milkshake shop near where i live, it’s called Shake Away. And I’m gonna be honest, the people who work there make me crumble inside. I’m not being sexist or insensitive but the women who work there is one of the main reasons i keep going back. There are beautiful, but in a Zooey Deschanel kind of way. Which many of you will understand, as I’m sure you’ve either tried to find someone like this or dress like her to seem more like her when in fact, no one dresses like Zooey! Anyway, yes the people that work there are amazing, and so one day, as i waiting in line, staring at the people behind the counter, i notice a new advertisement campaign, staring Whip It. Film advertising with a trendy milkshake place, no wayyyy! So i checked it out, staring Ellen Page, the chick from Juno, and is directed, for the first time, Drew Barrymore. I’m surprised as i haven’t heard much about it. I check more of the poster and see Kristen Wiig and Jimmy Fallon, two actors who i fucking love. And that’s when i knew i had to see this film. So, from going into a milkshake place, getting the weekly milkshake, chatting to the staff and then noticing a new film being released, i had fallen into a surprise new film that i had to see. And who knows, i could invite one of those lovely ladies (that didn’t happen, I’m way too much of a chicken to do that!).

The film is about Ellen Page, who joins a roller derby team, which is underground and full of women. It’s basically roller-skating round a track, dodging people are trying to hit you and take you out in small teams. It’s a really cool indie sport and it’s something different which hasn’t been represented on screen that much. In the team with Page is Drew Barrymore, Wiig, Eve and some other peeps. They have a rival team, and that fight against each other in a typical sports movie fashion a la Mighty Ducks. Along with his storyline, Page’s family are against this, and so are her friends. So the constant disapproval starts to get to her, but it works out well at the end. Throw in a love story too with this indie kid she meets, who you will want to punch in the ear several times over. Overall, a good plot, something a bit different and well crafted.

I defiantly recommend it, it’s fun, it’s full of action, and funny in many parts, and will make you laugh out loud and has a good message behind it. Plus full of good looking women doing something that is pretty fucking cool. I just wish i could rollerblade!


Simon Childs

Walk the Tron Line...

Crazy Heart – Scott Cooper

I’ve mentioned before my love of the actor, the legend that is Jeff Bridges, and nowadays, it seems that every film he’s been in and had a release, I’m reviewing. Almost feel kinda biased towards him. It’s like a secret man-crush, well not very secret as I’ve described to you the many ways i love him, as an actor and as a man, but because of his great career and how every single film he ever makes is wonderful, then I’m gonna have to keep going. Strangely today though, i find myself, not enjoying his latest offering, Crazy Heart. His performance in it is excellent but sadly his one performance cannot string this poorly paced, boring film together and which ultimately comes across as a Walk the Line impression which fails greatly. It sounds kinda harsh, true, but i know Jeff can bounce back. He got a lot of awards for his performance and a lot of applause for it, i totally agree, it’s a wonderful display by the man, but the film is fucking boring. Not as boring as say 2012 (look at my review at that film and you’ll realise my deep hatred for it) but it’s still dull. I just want to be brain-numbing entertained. I want to switch off and just watch shit happen. Like Transformers, a shit film, but fucking amazing if you just switch off, the soundtrack is always good, the action sequences last a decade. Quality.

Anyway, back to Crazy Heart, it follows an old, drunk famous musician, imagine the old folk singers, like Bob Dylan and Willie Nelson, but add less fame and fortune and performing in small bars to 10 or 20 people. The once famous Bridges now plays bowling alleys for money and is always trying to find new venues to play and get back to his arena tours. Throw in some love story with Maggie Gyllenhaal and some songs played by Bridges, and the film is basically that. Not much exciting happens, until a good three quarters in where the character seems to be getting worse and worse with his antics. Plus a huge appearance by Colin Farrell, who seems to be annoying in nearly everything he’s in, but here, he comes off quite well. It has nice ending, ties everything together, but it will bore. I don’t really suggest viewing it, but instead watching Walk the Line which is ultimately better than this.

I just hope that the next film Bridges releases will be awesome, which I’m guessing it will be, i believe it to be Tron: Legacy. Which, if you haven’t seen the trailers for, please go watch them and cry in joy like i have many a time. Deep tears of joy that i collect in a small Jeff Bridges lunchbox plastered with his face. I also like to wash my face in these tears in the lunchbox. Got a problem with that?


Simon Childs

A Foxx and a Butler make a surprise hit

Law Abiding Citizen - F. Gary Gray

To be surprised in Cinema anymore is rare, to find a story you haven’t seen before or to find characters who you’ve never sided with before, it’s something you treasure, which truly separates a film from being good to being amazing. Finding a film that does that, that’s where the difficultly comes in. Not based on how many millions of people saw it like Avatar or how many awards it got, like The Hurt Locker or how many stars magazines and newspapers gave it, for example Empire giving 5 stars to District 9. To find a film, that no one knows about, that not much information has been released about, but you know, it will never be forgotten as an amazing film by you. Now I’ve only ever had that feeling a couple of times in my life, finding a film so excellent that i tell my friends about it, we watch it together and it keeps spreading, but recently, it’s hard to find a film that good, that hasn’t been noticed yet. And Law Abiding Citizen is a film that had the attention, but got given terrible reviews, when in fact; i think it’s a decent film worth seeing. It’s the total opposite of what i was talking about earlier, where too much publicity could ultimately harm your film, especially with the leads being Jamie Foxx and Gerald Butler.

The film follows a lawyer who gets entangled with a widow’s revenge where his wife and child were killed and the two responsible are not given the right amount of justice. Butler sets about a string of killings with everyone involved in the case, leading to him being arrested and locked up, but still people die. The gradual build up of the plot is delightful and you fully realise by the end of it how fucking evil Butler really is. I won’t ruin the ending, but it’s a good plot twist. Foxx plays it well, trying to figure out Butler’s next move. It mixes Shawshank Redemption with recent films revolved around exaggerate killings and tests. The film is layered with questions about revenge and picking which side you would agree with, Butler, standing up for his dead family and making sure he gets his justice he deserves or Foxx, who follows the law system and only does what he is allowed to do. It’s a great question to ask, one that doesn’t have an easy answer to.

So overall, a decent film, a really decent film, something that will surprise you. It has a good pace, good action sequences and the acting isn’t as off putting as you first may believe. So go check it out, it may be a surprise hit for many. I don’t understand the bad reviews, but i guess its different strokes, different folks.


Simon Childs

Johnny Depp + Tim Burton = Successful formula?

Alice In Wonderland - Tim Burton

Let’s begin with the story of my admiration for a man named Tim Burton. It all started watching The Nightmare before Christmas, then his short Frankenweenie and then buying his collection of poems and short stories, illustrated by him. What a wondrous start. Then i fell in love with Edward Scissorhands and Beetlejuice, great films, fucking weird but great, following the trend of the animation and illustrations. Then came the Batman films. Now i like them, for taking the Batman franchise and placing it into the larger society, making the character what it is today, but compared to the comics and how the character should have been displayed, like in The Dark Knight, it’s awful. I think Burton was more focused on creating a creepy world for Batman to be in, rather than create a Batman that drew a lot from his background and history in the DC comics. Moving onto other films like Charlie and the Chocolate factory, which i didn’t like, James and the Giant Peach, which i did enjoy, Mars Attacks, which freaks the shit out of me, then Sleepy Hollow which was well made. Planet of the Apes, a big pile of poo, whilst Big Fish, was surprisingly good, Corpse Bride tried to recapture Nightmare’s good parts and create a new tale, but wasn’t as good, but still decent and then Sweeney Todd, a decent musical, something i will never say very often, as i hate musicals. And so we arrive at Alice in Wonderland. And if you follow the trail, in recent times, Burton has lacked the spark which once made him great; does Alice have the same fate?

Sadly, yes, it’s poor. Compared to his past, it’s not that good. It has a strange storyline, which somehow doesn’t work, the performances lack any direction, and are just there to fall in line with the Burton way, which is make everything weird. The CGI is good, but you always have the feeling that it’s not real. It almost feels like an animation. But maybe in a couple of year’s time, it will be better. The story follows Alice, who is beckoned once again to Wonderland to fight the evil Red Queen and save the day. Stars Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, an unknown actress as Alice, Helen Botham Carter, who is cast in everything Burton does, as the Red Queen, Anne Hathaway as the White Queen, which is actually cringely funny to watch. It just shows that when people are in Burton films, they have to act like what they think Burton likes, mainly just twirling, putting your hands in the air and having your eyes larger. Stephen Fry, Alan Rickman, Matt Lucas and a few others round up the cast as the animated characters like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.

You’ll be disappointed by the film, it has large places of nothing happening, no humour, and the pace is very off. Not seeing it at an IMAX or in 3D, i feel like i may have taken away the main draw of the film, which it is meant to be, but at the same time, it shouldn’t rely on it for its fun.


Simon Childs