RANTBOX REVIEW - Alice in Wonderland

Hey readers,

This has taken a little while to be sent because of how slow Michael works, but here is another edition of RANTBOX REVIEW where our "good" friend Michael Leroi beats down a movie into submission and then pisses all over it. This week is Tim Burton's, or T-Dizzle as he is known on the streets, Alice in Wonderland.

New Moon: ohhhhhheeeeehhhhhhwwwwwweeeeeeeooooooo

New Moon – Chris Weitz

The title to this review sums up my brain watching the latest in the Twilight saga, New Moon, because as a close personal friend of mine explained, Twilight is just Rob Pattinson porn for children. It’s evolved now into this cultural phenomenon where girls post videos on YouTube about how they love the books and films and they show the world their appreciation by crying, by laughing or by being angry. It’s strange to think of a world without this now, even though it’s only been three, four years, it feels like it’s been there forever. And i for one can’t stand it. I’m going to admit, i liked Twilight, it was a decent film, parts of it grated on me, but i thought it was a trashy teenage drama piece that had good music. The soundtrack was a major draw for me and the ways they used it was good. It could have been better. The acting in the first one was okay, but great, not Oscar worthy, but when the text is so poorly written, you know that it won’t be as good. The second in the series New Moon follows this trend of having decent music in an otherwise, shocking piece of filmmaking, where literally nothing happens. I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Nothing of interest happens. Just some girl who is torn between a vampire and a werewolf. And then some stuff at the end about him wanting to die. I wasn’t really paying attention. I was very close to falling asleep and that’s only happened in one film: Pirates of the Caribbean 3. And that was shocking!

The plot is thin, very thin on the ground, it seems like filler for the story, not a carry on like the Harry Potter series is where it carefully teases things, leaves some other juicy parts for later films but has interesting plot twists and turns throughout. Surely looking at how they made Twilight and the series of films, Harry Potter is a massive influence into doing a large series, but it seems they haven’t taken the advice from Potter and crew and tried to create an eerie piece of romance that doesn’t quite work. It’s lacking a lot. So you probably know what happens or what has happened before, Bella, a bit of a slag if I’m honest, first loves Ed, who is a vamp, then you have Billy bob, i mean Jacob, a werewolf, who loves Bella. So it’s a bit of love triangle, I’m just waiting for Jacob to fall in love with Edwardz and it will be lovely.

But yeah, it’s pretty much that, a story of a young romance, squashed by factors like being a vampire, other vampires wanting you dead, the one you love wanting to die because he thought you was dead, puberty, you know the normal things. If you must see it, watch it drunk. More fun.

4/10

Simon Childs

A punch to the balls, and a kick to the face!

Kick-Ass – Matthew Vaughan

Having not read the comic but being an avid comic book reader and seeing the trailers, the teasers, the posters, the screenshots, everything to do with the film, i was really looking forward to seeing the film, so much so, i saw it with a good group of my friends, we got in early, we waited. We all wanted to see this film together, not getting an advantage over the other. Laughing and awing at the same time. So i can officially say: Kick-Ass is kick-ass! You’ve read the reviews of how amazing this film is, you probably think it’s been hyped way too much, but i really think its fucking amazing. It may be the best film I’ve seen in a long time. It’s on the same level as Dark Knight and that’s high. Dark Knight is an instant 10 out of 10, so your gonna be looking forward to the rating i give it in the end. But just to let you know, that since seeing the film, i have brought the comic book, a special edition poster and will hopefully get t-shirts with slogans on, that’s how much i love the film.

The film follows Dave Lizewski, a geeky teenager, a nobody in his high-school, a hormone fuelled loser with loser friends and a loser life until he becomes Kick-Ass, at first a loser superhero, but becomes more, and through meeting people like him, captures the imagination of the people and helps solves people’s problems and captures the bad guys. I won’t reveal too much of the story because you’ll defiantly need to go peek it out for yourself. Along with the story of Dave, the sub plots of Hit Girl and Big Daddy have been the most publicised by Hit Girl and her shenanigans throughout. At point, yes, she does this, she says the word: cunts. I know, it’s strong, and i apologise if anybody is offended, but it’s perfect. The audience laughed for at least 5 minutes just hearing her mutter the word. It’s well needed in the scene and it’s offensive. Big Daddy, with the Adam West-like voice, played by Nicholas Cage, who at the moment is getting attacked for the slew of bad films he has made recently, finally shows the world the guy has acting chops. He’s always had it, he just needed the right platform, look at Con Air or Face Off!

The other performances worth noting in the film, Aaron Johnson, who plays Dave, Chloe Grace Moretz who plays Hit Girl, as everyone has said has got a great career in front of her, unless she steers away from shit films that will easily tempt her to be in. Mark Strong is great as the lead villain and Christopher Mintz-Plasse as his geeky, nerdy son is perfect, the combination of those two works so well, it shows that both actors have grown out of their typecasts of being a gangster boss, sleaze ball and a geeky, nerdy kid. That may sound sarcastic, but i genuinely think they did well in the film. So please, go watch this film, enjoy two hours and fucking tell the world of how great the film is. This is what people go into the film business to do!

10/10

Simon Childs

Let’s do the Twist

Shutter Island – Martin Scorsese

A weekend starts these three reviews, with seeing a film on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, i start with the psychological horror film Shutter Island, staring Leonardo Di Caprio and directed by the legendary Martin Scorsese. A film not seen in his line of work, a complete departure to what he has made, but it’s a welcomed change. I would never have expected Scorsese to have made this film. Looking at The Departed to this, you can see the director has been thinking about trying different genres, trying to open audiences to more varied plots and storylines, unfortunately, this plot, and especially the twists, can be seen from a mile away. The ending is obvious, because the audience have seen it before. Is the lead character really crazy or not. But what makes this film great, is the performances from Leonardo Di Caprio and Ben Kingsley, and special mention to a favourite actor of mine, Mark Ruffalo, they all sell the plot, they make the characters believable and they add a new twist to the genre.

The film revolves around Leonardo Di Caprio visiting an island for the mentally insane, called Shutter Island, he’s been called to investigate a missing inmate and unravels a conspiracy, or so he thinks. I can’t give much away, but you’ll soon realise what happens or what will happen. It’s not as hard to understand say like Lost, where shit will happen but from what direction! I wouldn’t class this film as a horror either, but many people have. It wasn’t that scary from the way the trailers have made it to be. There is a couple of disturbing images like bodies and drowning people, but it’s not the standard horror affair. You can defiantly see the influence of classic Hollywood cinema with Alfred Hitchcock and his horror films playing a part in how it affects the audience through emotion and the trick of not revealing until the end, where the pieces fit together to form the whole puzzle. Also the influence of Stanley Kubrick is used here in the music, which is top draw, a great feature in creating the eerie Shutter Island.

Overall, a good film, with strong performances, great direction, powerful music but the ending is obvious and not as scary as you may think it to be. A good film for a Friday too, but the next film, Kick-Ass will be a favourite of being the film of the weekend. Who knows, maybe Clash of the Titans will come out of nowhere and show the rest a right hander that will knock them out of the park. How many sayings and metaphors in that sentence? Too many!

7/10

Simon Childs