British romantic comedy with a Hugh Grant impersonator

My Last Five Girlfriends – Julian Kemp

The title sums up this latest offering from the British film industry, a film that centres on one man’s past relationships and going through each one told in short story form in way of different chapters in the man’s life. Each relationship has its ups and downs and having the man examine every detail trying to create a bond between him and the audience and unfortunately, it fails miserably because the guy, who plays him or the character in general, is a massive dick. He’s smug, middle class and up his own arse it actually makes me angry that someone would think this is a great idea for a film, it’s almost marketed at the middle class where they talk about great restaurants and have fine wine and experience exotic holidays. It makes me anger that people would think this is entertaining, to be constantly reminded of our poor, shitty existence. Yes, as you can see the film has enticed me into being angry, into thinking that the film wants me to be angry, but alas, i must carry on with this review, giving you the plot and giving you my opinion of this, but bare this in mind: i hate this film and hate films like this.

So you know the plot already, a guy travels and back explores his past five relationships, all of them ending in heart break one way or another and from these relationships, small scenes of humour and emotion are used to show the differences of the woman he has dated. Sure he’s charming and he has his ways, but really, the way he acts in all the relationships is dickish, and we are meant to support him? To find him likeable? Fuck no, i hate this dude, i want to punch him in the throat. I’m not going to continue to review this film because it seems to discourage the fact that only middle class people watch movies or will understand this movie. I don’t see anyone under the age of 20 going to see this film and it’s clearly not marketed for me. So fuck it. Don’t go see it, it’s a pile of shit and isn’t worth your time. And the only reason I’m giving it a 2 because of Naomie Harris, who is utterly adorable in it and very good looking.

2/10

Simon Childs