Condensed Milk?

Paranormal Activity – Oren Peli

Your probably wondering what the title of the review is about. Well i believe that Paranormal Activity would be condensed into like about 5 to 10 minutes. Sounds strange yes with all the reviews and how many people believe it to be a smash hit and how amazing it is. And I’m not denying it. But if they used the ten minutes that i loved and spread it out, like used that as a template and placed the ten minutes of awesome throughout, then the film would have been an instant classic, which to some people it already has because of the low cost and high amounts of money it made. It’s going to start a trend of low budget horror films that show that a decent script, good performances and a decent new director could lead to something magical. Which i guess has always been there, but it depends on the backing of the studios. It depends if the studios can back something that on paper won’t be successful. So back to the film, yes its horrible, yes its genuinely terrifying especially the parts with her standing over her husband and the ending (depends on which one you saw!), but it’s a decent horror film, it scares. But the pace is off for me. It takes almost an hour before something scary happens. And for a horror film, that’s way too long. Far too long.

Two characters star in the film, a couple, moving into a new house, the girlfriend experiences strange goings on, tell the guy, he films them sleeping, sees some strange stuff. They both begin to believe that the house is haunted. Some twists follow and some appearances from a priest and a psychic, both believe something gravely is happening. This leads to the best ten minutes of the film, i won’t ruin it, but you’ll see what i mean. It’s fucking scary. I was watching it with my brother who is 27, and I’m 20. We are both grown men. We aren’t scared, but I’m being truthful here, we were watching it behind pillows and behind our hands that were covering our faces. It’s horrible. But in a good way, not in a human centipede way. The performances are from unknown actors, giving that even unknowns can play the roles way, the guy comes off as a bit of a dick, but that’s intentional i believe; the scene with the board and insisting on continuing to use it, you’ll want to throw your own shit or vomit at the screen to slap some sense into him.

It got great reviews, many people liked it, and it’s good. Don’t go in expecting something crazy great like the first Saw, but you’ll enjoy it. I just hope they don’t turn into Saw by having a shit version of it every year for the next ten years. Would ruin a good film. My breath is being held for Paranormal Activity 2.

6/10

Simon Childs