20 May 2010

Award for the most sickening film ever goes to...

The Human Centipede – Tom Six

Now, let’s start with the whole logic behind this next review. I’ve seen the trailers, I’ve seen the news coverage and I’ve seen other people’s reviews of it. I went into thinking it was going to be okay, kinda like a mix between Hostel and Saw films with added gore for a low budget affair. And i wasn’t expecting it to be brilliant, and it isn’t, it’s a low budget fluff film that has a concept that will blow your mind. Sure there are massive faults, like the slow pacing, the half dramatic ending, and the shoddy acting, but i guess when the only characters who can talk is a fucking mad scientist and a Chinese guy who doesn’t speak English, the script isn’t going to be strong. Onto the concept. I’ve watched a lot of horror films, some have shocked and scared me, Blair Witch when it first came out, Evil Dead, Cannibal Holocaust, Dawn of the Dead, Braindead, all of these have aspects of shock and gore and blood, but Human Centipede has something that i never expected, utter terror. Utter terror of the idea that a “normal” human being actually thought about this and even gave its “100% medical accurate” stamp of approval. Sure, horror writers have thought of some fucked up things, but this, sticking three human beings together by the anus and the mouth, its stuff you would find on the internet with two girls, one cup or scat porn.*

The story follows a mad German doctor (it always has to be them doesn’t it, the mad German doctors who just can’t be normal doctors willing to help the sick and needy), who after many years of fantasying about things being stuck together, finally moves from using animals to using humans. He captures three people, sticks them together and bang, there’s the film. Yes the plot is that thread-bare, it’s more of the shock of actually seeing three humans stuck that way, just an hour’s worth of glory shots of the “human centipede”. The process of the human centipede is where there are three people. All lined up on their knees, the first person facing forward on knees, the next person behind them, their mouth attached to the first person’s anus via taking skin and muscle from the knee cap and attaching it to the face and bum. The third person is then attached to the second’s person’s anus using skin from the knee again. And there we have it. The Human Fucking Centipede. Doesn’t it just make you sick?

And on a final note, don’t watch it whilst eating.

*Now for legal purposes and for reputation purposes, obviously, I’m going by rumour and myth here and do not watch scat porn and have never seen two girls, one cup. Yes, I’m coming forward and saying I’ve never seen it.


Simon Childs

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