A film about a day i despise...

Valentine's Day - Garry Marshall

I really hope this kind of film doesn’t become a trend similar to Christmas where films are written for the audience at that time, trying to ignite the spark in the audience’s imagination and grabbing that mad money of the holiday audiences. But, what makes this different is filming tailoring around a holiday that’s not an official holiday but a date made up by companies to make you spend more money. Yes, it sounds like I’m a bitter man about the whole thing, and no i haven’t had bad experiences with Valentine’s Day where I’ve been dumped or I’ve been cheated on, sadly i don’t live the Hollywood film lifestyle. More often than not, I’m single of Valentine’s Day and that suits me just fine. Moving back on track with this review, i hate Valentine’s Day the holiday, so going into this romantic comedy, i knew it would irritate the fuck out of me. Of all the actors and performances, clearly the money was the major factor for all of them, cashing in on the holiday itself where couples would go see it and have a wonderful evening. (Sick in my mouth). Instead, you get two hours of pure self praise, where each actor appears doing the exact same thing the last actors do, trying to be funny and sweet but showing that the script is bare, the storylines sometimes don’t work and it gets very annoying. Now you may disagree and think it’s an okay film with some funny sections and a decent watch on a Saturday night. There are millions, literally millions of films that are better than this in just the romantic genre or a film that make you laugh.

Normally with the review, this is the section i write about what the film is about, but I’m not going to describe it as it’s a mesh of different tales of different people on Valentine’s Day, with people cheating, people breaking up, kids learning about romance, old people still in love, people against the day, and other random fucking stories that aren’t funny nor cute. It stars a mixture of great actors who have great careers being in decent films like Topher Grace, Jennifer Garner, Anne Hathaway and Bradley Cooper and then we have some mediocre actors who are in the end of their dying careers like Julia Roberts, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah and Kathy Bates. And throw in a couple of surprise appearances of the two “hunks” from Greys Anatomy and that werewolf guy from the Twilight films and the girl he was supposedly seeing, yes that famous young country singer, the film is overpopulated with lame performances. Using the blueprint set by New York i Love You and Paris, je t’aime, decent films that had separate sections about different relationships in the city where it’s set, but at the same time the relationships felt real and the performances furthered the story and made it entirely captivating with the different directing styles.

So don’t watch this pile of shit, instead watch New York I Love You and Paris, je t’aime, ten times better all round, i promise.

4/10

Simon Childs