Not so crazy about this one...

The Crazies - Breck Eisner

The latest in a long line of modern remakes of classic horror films, this George A. Romero’s 70’s B-Movie hit The Crazies has been updated and significantly changed from the original and many are calling it better than the original. Now there haven’t been many examples of horror remakes that have worked, sure you can list the names of films on one of your hands for the good ones, but when it’s done right, it easily makes up the fact that the others were shit. For example, Dawn of the Dead and The Hills Have Eyes, both use traits from the past film but update it in such a way it’s on its own accord and shouldn’t just be analysed for being a rip off of the original films. But as I’ve said, there are plenty more shit remakes than good, as you can see by some I’ve reviewed about like Halloween 2 and the upcoming DVD release of The Nightmare on Elm Street, both of which many hated on because of its portrayal of its lead iconic characters. With The Crazies, there aren’t any iconic parts or characters, but instead a simple plot which we’ve seen before where a town is infected by a deadly virus turning them into angry blood thirsty slow people with weird faces. It’s kind of a cross between the virus from Cloverfield and the Resident Evil slow types of zombies.

The lead character played by the dick Timothy Olyphant, and the reason i call him a dick is because i don’t like him. I just don’t. It’s almost like the scene from Star Wars in the cantina where the guy says he hates Luke Skywalker. Well it’s like that, but for a reason. I’ve heard reports of arrogance and the way he treats other actors and directors. I can’t respect an actor when shit like that comes out. So going into the film, i knew i wouldn’t sympathise with the lead, so may that have hindered it. Or maybe it was the boring plot with standard un-entertaining characters, the predictable action and the shiteous ending. I think it was a mix of all that. But back to the plot, Tim plays the sheriff of a small town and one night, after a dead body is found in the nearby lake and water system, the water is infected by a virus which soon spreads around the whole town. The government finds out and quarantines the whole town off, separating everyone into different sections. Along with the sheriff are his wife and his second in command who seems to be the only one whom turns up to the film wanting some action. The film is so boring, you’ll want to move onto something with action. As the main character is a sheriff you’d imagine he would be trying to sort shit out and taking names, but instead he just pusses out.

A bad remake of a film that wasn’t that great to start off with. Doesn’t work in the current climate where films like this appear every year in numbers but add new twists, don’t remake the film that started it all and not change it for the better. Sloppy filmmaking.

2/10

Simon Childs