6 January 2010

This Is Sparta!...wait, no, it isn't, it's more like Brixton

The Ugly Truth - Robert Luketic

The truth hurts, and for this film, the truth about to told may hurt as much as it did to watch. First and foremost, I’m partial to certain romance films, The Notebook for instance, a brilliantly told story which is funny and enjoyable, most recently, unusual romantic films like (500) Days of Summer and Lars and The Real Girl, different in their approach, but great. This film hurts so much it made me want to actually go out, find a pack of sharks, place lasers on their heads (very similar to the scene in Austin Powers) and dump pretty much all of the people involved into the tank, to see them get ripped limb from limb. Yes, it hurt that much. Well except for Gerald Butler. He seems kinda badass. I like him, but not in this film. His terrible accent does not go down well.

It was obvious from the start, two good looking leads, both on the different spectrum of relationships, one more about sex, the other about love. Butler plays a man who talks about the “truth” of relationships with women and about how to be treated; Heigl plays a producer on the show, who at first hates him, but then uses his advice to woo a man. Simple as. It was clear that these two would end up together, it would of really changed everything if Butler just turned into his character in 300 right at the end and rampaged everyone on screen. Now I would personally fund that film, just Butler crashing through walls, killing people with his bare hands as everyone is crying and screaming for help. With maybe the soundtrack of Katy Perry in the background. As the lyrics for Hot N’ Cold match up with the action, it would send me into a fit of happiness.

Now the soundtrack also hurt me alot. It’s a simple formula, include tracks people know, gain interest, and in the romantic scenes have slower indie songs that emit emotions like The Fray or One Republic. I was surprised no James Morrison, James Blunt or Paolo Nutini was played. I was expecting it. And even worse, the song for the credits. Now imp a music fan, I like to think I’m “with” it, but seriously, Flo-rida? That song come out like two years or something ridiculous, been used in countless films and televisions shows. It almost made me throw up in anger.

Overall, this film is dreadful. I would suggest watching it though for laughs, it’s so bad it’s good. Many films don’t do that, but this is bad. I can see it instantly being on sale for £3 in HMV. Buy it for girlfriends or ex-girlfriends. If she says she loves it, dump her, please. She needs to learn about good cinema and good filmmaking. Heigl and Butler are good actors, no doubt, Heigl did great in Knocked Up, and Grey’s Anatomy, and Butler with 300, even Reign of Fire, plus I’m looking forward to seeing Gamer and Law Abiding Citizen, I like Butler as the action hero, not the guy in romance films, the rugged fella who woos the stuck ladies by being rude. It doesn’t suit him. So please, stay away from this film, only if you want to use it as a way to get into your unlucky girlfriends dirty knickers, then all means, plough through.


If you like this, you'll love: A Cinderella Story, Cruel Intentions, any modern day romantic film staring reasonable decent actors who do the film for money only.


Simon Childs

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